i barely uttered a single word to my family today. i just…don’t have anything to say? all i can do is take pills for when it gets worse and hope it can make it bearable but it’s not making it bearable is it??

i feel sad that i don’t feel safe on my blog. i might do a follower cut. i feel like a waste of space on here most of the time aahahweg. forgotten or something like that even if i’m not. in the meantime my health doesn’t seem to have any breaks on how far it wants to dive. if i can’t speak i can’t communicate that i need hel p – or even be capable of being able to think that they could help me, when my mom is a giant trigger. dad hasn’t become one yet, but having a relative in the house for three weeks has been too much. 

i’m worried about arthur since in real life, he’s all i really have. i wonder if he’ll grow tolike me. sometimes i wonder if i’ll even make it that far for myself to see that happening. ah my bones hurt. 

i’m so tired.