i’ve hit my limit uys. i can’t do this naymoe. i think they should probably get me to a hospital if this keeps up bc i’m tired of fighting???? now it’s gotten to where i just make a mess out of myself and throw up and start crying.

i don’t want strangers telling me : go get help that’s not what this is for. i know that

but i als o know that i feel utterly alone in the world and being in a family hasn’t helped that sou nds selfish but i can’t even bear to have four people in the buildin g at the same time too stressful

i can’t live as a human bein anymore

it took that from me

and i was scared once but now i know it’s going to take everything i have i just have iven up?????

these mental cancers are gonna win and it’s been three years and no end in sight. i want to see that horse but even that ahs been hard 

they havent found him yet but idk ifi  can wait anymor for somethin to make lizzie come back to life

im tired of pretendin g to be cheerful when a lot of the time im dyin g on the inside im tryin im tryin g but i want someone or something 2 save my life bc i just i’m losing my life?? whil e im still breathing and it’s the wrost. 

having grandma and dad both sick and both here has been a nightmare. i love them dearly to death but i cant deal with that much commotion and its normal family stuff

normal family members can handle it

but i cant

and even the things i do for fun like rp have turnedi nto triggers

i feel like people whoere my close friends have either ditched me or just aren’t interested in me anyhmore

i  cant do this why do i haev to do this

people are suffering why more than i am and i can’ t handle this much? im pathetic and im trash

im sorry i can’t even talk to anyon about anything when u guys od tlalk tm e

even tho u all now im a freak by now and a waste of space and liike asbel would say a ‘failure’ i keep rpaying ill wake up and be rand new and stitched up and not this person

i wish i was someone else i wish i wasnt lizzie i just wish i wasn’t born or i gt a secnd chance bc its lookin grim